Innocent Angel
by Metajoker
Summary: One of those defenceless, pathetic and miserable souls that populated these lands. One of those that Himura had vowed to protect. Yet again, had failed. A Soujiro fic
1. Prologue

_In the end, only the fittest survive in this world. If you're strong you live, if you're weak you die. – Seta Soujiro _

"How long has it been?"

Another bite out of the riceball. The rice wasn't as soft as the menu had claimed, the stuffing of the riceball tasted like dirt. But a beggar couldn't choose. Not with a tight budget. But Seta Soujiro, formerly known as the Tenken, didn't mind. In fact, he enjoyed living this simple, wandering life. There were so many things to see, so many people to meet, so many new sights and sounds…

Yet he had not learn that much.

"A year. It's been a year Shishio-sama," Forcing the dry rice down his throat, Soujiro looked up at the crystal blue skies, dotted with strands of long wispy clouds. Smiling, he continued gazing at the blue horizon above him. He leaned back against the tree trunk, enjoying the warmth of beautiful summer day. Beams of sunlight filtered through the green canopy above, shining down brightly on him. There was a certain satisfaction, contentment and bliss to be sitting down beneath a tree on a summer's day, feeling the sunlight and heat warming up one's skin. It felt good, almost like taking a nice hot spring bath. Soujiro reached out for another riceball.

'_Well, one bad thing about being a wanderer would be the shortage of money…' _Soujiro mused before taking a small bite, chewing slowly. Perhaps it would taste better, softer the more he chewed it. Perhaps. Eating such a simple meal, Soujiro couldn't help but to miss the food he had gotten used to while under Shishio's care. The dishes cooked and served by the chef had been fantastic. A gastronomic delight. It was something that he had quietly looked forward to when he came back from missions.

But not anymore.

Not since a year ago.

No, he had spent the last twelve months seeking, searching. Wandering. While living a simple life and keeping his profile low had been fairly simple, the rest of the journey wasn't. He had no idea what he was searching for. There were no guides, no maps, no instructions. Nothing. He had chosen to throw himself on the path to eternal wandering, like a hungry ghost. But even a hungry ghost had a meaning, a reason to live.

For food.

What was his?

Soujiro knew that he couldn't possibly find the answer overnight. No, even after searching for one year, he had failed to see it. The truth that Himura Kenshin saw. The truth that propelled him to save the weak, protect the defenceless. The truth that prevented him from killing. What was the magic formula? From which window of perspective did Himura was looking at the world from? Soujiro couldn't quite place his finger on it. Even after so many meditations, meeting several interesting people along the way, so many nights of reflection…

Nothing.

With an amused chuckle and a nonchalant shrug, Soujiro continued smiling. "Oh well, another nine more years to go!"

'After all, Battousai, no, Himura-san, took ten years didn't he?'

Sighing as he finished the last of his sawdust riceball, Soujiro stood up, wiping his hands on his clothes. He was done resting. It was time to hit the road again. To seek for his purpose in life. To find his reason to live. To discover the truth, the law of life that Himura followed.

To protect the weak.

The weak that he had detested all his life.

With a sigh and that frozen trademark smile on his face, Soujiro picked up his belongings and started walking once more.

The past year had been difficult for the former Tenken. It was confusing, for most parts. Whatever it was that he seek was definitely a complete contrast to what he had been believing all these years. It would be an ideology that conflicted the one that he had religiously followed.

That was, if he chose to become like Himura.

Alternatively, he could always return to his old ways. But what good would that do? He no longer had a teacher, a father figure, a master to guide him. He no longer had Shishio. All that was left were memories, a bitter, stinging pain in his heart and a plethora of insecurities but a determination to stand up on his own two feet. To make his own decisions, to define his own life.

All by himself.

No one had warned him however, that trying to emulate Himura wouldn't be easy.

Soujiro suddenly burst out laughing. "I think too much…" Amused by his own conflicting thoughts, Soujiro simply kept on smiling and trudged on forward. Today was a perfect summer's day. One that discouraged the use of intelligence. Today was simply a day to be enjoyed, to bask in the warm glowing light as he journeyed wherever his feet took him. Reflections and the dredging up of past memories were best left alone for today.

A deer suddenly sprang out of the bushes and ran past him, obviously startled. Soujiro halted in his tracks, tensed muscles slowly relaxing. He had sensed something approaching him. But he didn't expect it to be a deer. And a beautiful one at that.

"Ah," Soujiro clasped both hands in delight at the sight of the passing deer. He hadn't seen one for quite some time now. A pity though that it was just a fleeting glance.

Soujiro's blue eyes narrowed when he heard another rustling in the bushes. Not another deer, he assumed. Instinctively, all his muscles tensed up, feet rearing to go and hands itching for his sword. Whatever it was that was stalking him, whoever it was who wanted him, he was more than ready. A hand rested on hilt of his katana, a loose yet firm grip and he was armed with his best defence.

His smile.

Unfortunately though, like many other young men out there, Soujiro had quite an active imagination. He had thought of the worse as his ears picked up the distinctive yet soft sound of footsteps shuffling. A ninja? An assassin perhaps? A mountain bandit? Some wandering rogue?

"WAIT FOR ME!!!"

A startled Soujiro almost fell when he heard the high pitched and shrill young voice that came out of a young girl, stumbling out of the bushes. Her clothes and hair were entangled amidst the branches and she had trouble pulling herself out. For a brief moment, the usually frozen expression had changed as a mixture of surprise and shock flashed across his features. But in a blink of an eye, the smile was back though there was a frown on his face. So many questions suddenly penetrated his train of thought, making thinking such an impossibly uphill task.

Why was a young girl, no older than 5 years of age, alone in the forest? Who was she? Where were the rest of her family? How did she get her?

It wasn't his fault that she looked so hilarious in the helpless state she was in. Soujiro couldn't help but to find her situation extremely amusing, no matter how mean it was of him to think so. Watching the girl struggle her way through, Soujiro did the most natural thing he could do.

Laugh.

Taken aback at his seemingly sudden presence, the girl whipped her head to look at him. Her eyes meet his as they locked in a silent stare for a moment.

That ruffled, short brown hair, the dirt stained skin, cheeks flushed bright pink from exertion… Her clothes that were tattered and torn hung on her skinny small frame. It was worn out and thin. Suitable perhaps, in the day when the summer's heat was intense but at night… If she was indeed all alone by herself, the temperatures could plunge drastically, especially on mountains such as this. How would she survive? But what struck him the most were her eyes. Those large round and undeniably sky blue eyes. They were filled with such pure innocence. A utter and complete ignorance for the world around her and yet filled with so much mirth and life as she played in her own imaginary world.

Such blue eyes…

Almost like his.

No, he was wrong.

They were exactly like his.

But how long ago was that? When he was still so innocent?

The pair of crystal clear pools stared straight into his eyes, as if boring a hole in his very soul. The longer she stared at him, the more Soujiro felt as if she too, was searching for a truth within him. But at the same time, the more he continued gazing in those orbs, the more he noticed this indescribable melancholy hidden within. A sadness that struck a chord within, an emptiness that tore and ravaged his battered soul apart.

'_Just like me…' _

The very thought scared him as he found himself unable to tear away his gaze from her haunting eyes.

It was she who broke the silence between them.

A grasshopper had jumped out of the tall grass nearby and hopped onto the dirt path Soujiro was on. It stayed in that position for a while, waving its feelers all about, black glossy eyes staring intently at them. Another twitch of the feelers. It was as if the grasshopper was trying to communicate with them using sign language. It was almost as if it was asking for directions.

"COCKROACH!!!" The girl shrieked. At first, Soujiro thought that she was terrified of the tiny insect but her next line threw him off completely.

"HOW CUTE!!!"

She stretched out her arms, trying to desperately to grab onto the 'cute' animal. But her movements and volume had scared it off as it leapt away, hidden from sight. A whine escaped the midget's lips as her soft pink lips formed a cute pout.

"Do you need help?" Soujiro asked. It was stupid of course. To be asking such an obvious question. But it seemed that the girl had rather forgotten the predicament she was in once she was distracted. Soujiro simply had to remind her.

Delighted that the handsome stranger would offer help to her, she gave a resounding and cheerfully loud, "Okay!"

Chuckling to himself, Soujiro strode over and gingerly helped the girl untangle herself from the web of branches. Immediately after being freed, she pounced on him in glee, ignoring the painfully looking scratches and bruises that were printed on her delicate skin.

"Thank you!!!"

Laughing once again, Soujiro bent down, ruffling her messy hair. The girl was adorable with her boisterous attitude and she exuded so much energy that even Soujiro found himself attracted to it. Despite the merry appearance however, Soujiro couldn't help but to notice and worry about some of the nasty bruises he spotted. She couldn't possible have obtained such bruises from just her carelessness and utter stupidity alone. No. It swelled too much, it was too dark and painful. Painfully familiar.

"_Whacha smiling for kid?! Get to work! NOW!!!" A drunken male roared as he kicked the younger boy in his ribs. Gods it hurt so much. He couldn't help but to double over, coughing and gasping for breath. _

'_Someone, please help me…'_

_That painful blistering bruise on his ribs refused to go away for the next few weeks._

'_Someone, anyone… Please…' _

Soujiro gulped, mouth feeling dry as he licked his lips. He almost believed that even that simple lick would have caused him some pain, especially when they were dry and chapped, torn at the sides from the continuous punches he received.

Almost.

Instantly, remnants of the old Soujiro, the Tenken, classified her as one of the weak.

One of those defenceless, pathetic and miserable souls that populated these lands.

One of those that Himura had vowed to protect.

Yet again, had failed.

'_Someone, anyone, please help me!' _


	2. My Princess

((Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin nor any of the characters. I just own this little innocent angel of mine. Note: This isn't a oneshot! Rejoice! Bad – It's a short fic though. And those who love Soujiro to death might be disappointed if the ending doesn't fit those typical 'Soujiro finds enlightenment story'. Be warned though there are a lot of conflicting thoughts in this story.))

_Chapter 2: My Princess_

_Nobody helped me! Back then, you didn't protect me! – Seta Soujiro_

"Onii-chan?" The midget asked, trying to gain his attention as she tugged lightly at the ends of his sleeves. It took a while before Soujiro snapped out of his daydreams, no, his memories. Blinking, he looked down at the girl, once clear eyes turning a murky shade blue.

"Hai?" The response was a forced one. Soujiro's normally soft and sweet tone sounded harsher, his voice coming out raspier and older. He could still see the pools of blood on the ground, the mangled limbs falling on the earth, the smell of corpses, the scent of death that he was so accustomed to. The crimson stained ground, the rain, the fear… Yet he could also remember vividly the thrill, the excitement to have power over someone else's life, to be in complete control of his surroundings. It made him feel almost like a God. Almost. Because deep down inside, Soujiro knew that he was still afraid. Terrified by the idea of using a sword to kill. Terrified by the screams of desperations, terrified of the tears that came forth, terrified of himself.

"Onii-chan!!!" The girl persistently called out to him, desperate for some attention.

"ONII-CHAN!!!"

Soujiro finally snapped out of his nightmares. Blinking once more, he looked at his surroundings. Green. Lush greenery surrounded him, not blood. He was basked in the warm sun, not cold, unforgiving rain. The ground was earth brown, not crimson red. There were no screams that pierced through the air, no tears or blood split. Just crickets and birds chirping, an occasional monkey howling high above in the trees. A cacophony of sounds in nature. A cool breeze blew, weaving itself amongst the ancient trees, caressing his skin as it passed him by. It ruffled his hair slightly and teasingly tugged at the hems of his clothes. Soujiro realized that he was no longer living in the past. No, he was living in the present, seeking for a future of his own.

Most of all, he was not alone.

Smiling kindly, he bent down, so as to be at eye-level with the young girl. "I must apologize. I guess I was too caught up with-"

"What's your name?" The young girl promptly cut short his sentence. Yet again, the girl somehow managed to throw him off track. She couldn't care less for his excuses. What was over, was over. Now, she was only interested in knowing more about this handsome samurai of hers. Her hero. She gazed at his face intently, patiently waiting for him to reply. She chewed on her lower lip in anticipation as she continued staring innocently at him. Somehow, she felt obliged to ask him for his name. That's what princesses always do don't they? They ask the samurais who saved them for their names. As least, that's how most of her bedtime stories always ended.

"Seta Soujiro. My name is Seta Soujiro," It felt weird to be introducing himself as Seta Soujiro. He was more familiar to introducing himself as Shishio's right hand man, the Tenken, a member of the JupponGatana but as himself, as an individual… He wasn't used to this kind of liberation. It still struck him as odd as to how he was still not used to having nearly no status in this huge world. After all, a year had passed. Though he met a few people along the way, he didn't quite introduce himself. He was… Unsure, hesitant of what to say, what to tell them. But those kind strangers simply smiled and referred to him as 'Young Man'. That's right. He was nothing else but a young man wandering on his own.

A stranger.

"Se-ta-Sou-ji-ro!" The girl pronounced his name slowly, playing with the syllables on her tongue. She grinned. So this was the true identity of her blue samurai! Seta Soujiro! How awesome! He was so handsome too! And those blue eyes of his… Reaching out to cup his cheeks, she continued smiling at him fondly. But his blue eyes were murky and dark. Deep with sorrow, clouded with despair. As a child, she could only wonder why.

"My name is Hanako!"

Bursting with confidence and pride, she loudly proclaimed, "I am a princess! And you are my hero!"

Soujiro chuckled, trying to suppress the laughter stuck his throat, threatening to spill. Him? Her hero? It was the most absurd thing he had heard in ages. Yes, utterly ridiculous. He was no hero. He was a nobody. Just a young wanderer. He had no master, no status, no nothing.

He was just a killer trying to repent.

But unfortunately for Soujiro, little Hanako didn't share the same perspective. Leaning forward suddenly, she planted a slobbering, fat kiss on his lips. It lasted for a merely second or two but it was more than enough for the former Tenken to reel over in shock. He was shocked that the young girl would even have the temerity to do such a thing! A kiss! They weren't even lovers! And the age gap between them! What on earth was she thinking?! Staring at her, Hanako had removed her tiny hands from his face and a bright red blush crept up her cheeks. The boisterous and bold girl gave way to a meek and shy one. She chewed on her lower lip as she shyly glanced up at him. Her ears were burning red and her cheeks flushed a deep pink in both delight and embarrassment. Soujiro could only continue staring at the girl incredulously. First he was suppose to her hero, now a kiss? Embarrassed that his first kiss was stolen by a five year old girl, Soujiro could only scratch the back of his head and gave a nervous laugh.

"My, my…" The poor boy was at a loss for words.

'_No wonder Yumi hated kids…'_

"Aren't you adorable? Ahaha…"

The nervous laughter trailed off as Soujiro felt himself blush lightly. He licked his lips, wiping off some of her saliva.

It tasted sweet.

A quiet yet awkward moment passed before Soujiro finally spoke up. The nervousness was gone, and though he was still smiling, his mood was no longer as jovial as before. "Why are you here, Hanako, no, Hime-chan?" His eyes trailed down her battered body, caressing and memorizing every visible welts and bruises he spotted on her delicate skin. He shuddered to know of what other injuries might be hidden beneath those rags.

The girl whipped her head up to face him before her gaze immediately fell to the ground. "Hanako… Hanako… Got lost while playing…" Her reply was painfully soft, lacking the confidence and mirth.

Denial.

"Is that so?" Soujiro saw no need to pursue the issue further. Judging from the circumstances, she was most likely to be abandoned and left to die on these mountains.

Abandoned.

The mere thought of being abandoned was already hard for the Tenken to handle. For if there was one thing that Soujiro managed to learn the past year, was the indescribable loneliness and pain that came from being abandoned. He had been abandoned all his life. His biological parents, his adoptive family who had never regarding him as their own, let alone a human being and now, even Shishio had, in a way, abandoned him. Even though he knew these facts, that he was abandoned from the beginning…

But still, was it so wrong wanting to feel belonged?

Years of dreaming, years of believing that he truly belonged, all shattered, crumbling like the dust. Kenshin, the man responsible for his predicament, his loss… Kenshin too had abandoned him, asking him to find his own path.

Alone.

While he was truly grateful to Kenshin for showing him that there was more than one path in life, that the truth was, he never really wanted to kill… At times like this, Soujiro could help but to feel bitter resentment swelling up within him like a volcano that was about to explode. He felt like he belonged with Shishio! He had a reason, he had a purpose, no matter how twisted it may seem to many. He wasn't abandoned. His hands curled up into a pair of trembling fists as his smile faltered.

"Seta-san?"

Forcing the thoughts deeper into the recesses of his mind, he smiled at little Hanako. "Why don't I help you find your way back? It'll be like a little mission for us!" He held out his last finger. Joy and mischief lighting up those blue orbs of hers, she grinned back at him, hooking up her pinky finger with his. A promise between a princess and her samurai.

"Of course you have to help me! You're my samurai, my hero!"

Inwardly, Soujiro sighed. There she went again about the whole made-up, self-proclaimed title. Nothing but a mere child's play. Yet Soujiro little choice but to play along. After all, it did help him to get his mind off the whole pensive reflecting part of his journey. Furthermore, her smile was infectious. Soujiro couldn't help it as his own smile turned into a real grin. It wouldn't hurt to play along for now. It might even be fun! After all, he had the next nine years to waste… Soujiro stood up, offering his hand for her to hold.

"Piggy back ride!" The princess squealed.

"Hai, hai…"

Bending over once more, he motioned for her to get on his back. Scrambling like an excited monkey, she wrapped her arms around his neck while nuzzling his shoulder. She inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent. Her nose wrinkled as she made a face at him. He smelt of perspiration and dirt, like those farmers who worked in the fields the entire day. How disgusting! Weren't heroes supposed to smell good?

"You stink."

A brutal, honest opinion.

Soujiro merely brushed off the comment with a laugh as he stood up, carefully balancing her on his back, two arms beneath her for support. "Why thank you, Hime-chan! You smell just as sweet too!" The girl looked away, blushing once more.

A languid afternoon, perfect for relaxing, perfect for reminiscing of good times.

A perfect afternoon for a princess and her samurai to travel together.

_'I'd never imagine I would ever do such a thing,'_ Soujiro thought, amused that he was now following the instructions of a little girl.

_'Oh well… Might as well enjoy it.'_

After all, was it so wrong wanting to feel belonged?


End file.
